Lifeinthekeyofme

It’s been god knows how long since I’ve blogged, but thanks to calendars , I was informed it was October 21st, 2010. I used to be really prolific, just take a look at the archives, but since then I’ve blamed Twitter for my lack of productivity on this platform. So I’ve been wanting to jump back into it, but was lacking inspiration to do so.

That has just changed…

First off, the disclaimer is the majority of what I will be blogging about today will BE A JOKE. But like a good blogger, I won’t tell you exactly which parts I’m joking about.

So let’s jump into this. I’m extremely proud of my friend Julie, she launched a new website that focuses on the 20 something female, my favorite demographic growing up. Actually, who am I kidding, it’s still my favorite demographic. The majority of the content is obviously written in the female voice and perhaps intentionally, the aspirational tone. This is where my rat ass comes in, I thought it would be funny (until she gets mad) if I gave a proper rebuttal or take-on of one of her posts. Since Julie and I are friends, I only plan to refute her posts rather than her guest contributors. See, I’m not that big of an ass. My intention is to write a refutation masterpiece akin to  Liz Phair‘s take on Exile On Main street, but most likely it will end up in the Vince Neil reacts to Axl Rose category.

So I was browsing the site and came across this post:  “Feel Like a Princess“. Feel free to read it all before proceeding.

I understand that we all (boys & girls and disgruntle hamsters) dream of a better life, and for young girls, the idea of being a princess is probably tops. I don’t necessarily disagree that we should all find time to make ourselves feel better, but you say…

“Splurge”

On a Balenciaga bag? So unless you live with your Parents, or have 12 roommates and are considerably over paid for your position–I don’t know too many 20 year olds who have Balenciaga bags. I also refute the idea that a bag will make you feel special because we know how much “accessorizing” goes on in your world. I have never met an “everyday” luxury handbag, and I should know…I spent a boat load on an LV clutch for my GF and assumed she’d use it everyday. I was wrong.

You’re 20 years old, and I hate to say this…but statistics show that you’ll probably be a 30 something single girl as well, so save your money! Also, don’t buy into the idea that these things will make you feel special, if you do, then you’ll be a sad 30 something single girl.

You say…

“Pamper”

I actually agree with this almost 100%. My only suggestion is DO NOT DO THIS for a nerve-wracking first date.  Don’t ever show all your cards the first date, because guys will expect this EVERY DAY of your relationship. Yes, we love when you go to town on your face and hair with your MAC products, but honestly, if our first impression (date) of you is as close to what we’ll see everyday—then when you do put the make up and blow out your hair, we will think it’s Christmas.

You say…

“Get Help”

You’re a 20 something, not 75–stop being lazy. Carrying your own groceries is not going to kill you and if anything, it’s good exercise (if you buy a lot of canned foods). The more you take out, the more likely you’ll rely on using SeamlessWeb rather than your own skills. Sure, it’ll likely cover not having to “carry your own groceries” but its like a hole in your wallet.  I believe the average apartment in NYC is 400 sq feet, so  unless maid-service is an offer from your mother, save your money…after all, you still need to buy that Balenciaga bag