Lifeinthekeyofme

It’s January 30th, I don’t remember January  12, let alone the other 18 day since then and now I find myself on the cusp of February. I’m also headed to my 7th month living in the city, I can’t believe it’s been 7 months.

There has been so many great things about being in NYC, but one of the not so great things has been my lack of commitment to this blog. I was so prolific at one time, but Twitter, Facebook and Foursquare seem to be enough for me to broadcast my life in tiny pieces rather than focusing on words and paragraphs.

I want this to change, 140 characters doesn’t seem enough. FML

I have officially been in my new place in the Upper West Side for a month, and since the first day I have been wanting to paint the walls of the apartment. Those who know me, are fully aware of my “sometimes” impulsive personality. This impulse usually lends itself to things like buying an expensive jar of olives with anchovies despite never actually trying them; but feeling guilty because the store clerk gave me a whole lesson on the process of sticking it in the olive.

So where is this impulse when I need it most? By now my walls should have been painted “artichoke” or “roasted squash”, but nope, not at all. I’m over analyzing and scrutinizing the idea of painting, I also suck at anything remotely creative (that includes manual labor) so this being a DIY job scares me as well.

Ugh, I need some olives

I was headed to the 1 train this morning, fully indulged in my daily routing of hitting “shuffle” and anticipating music to show up from days of ex-girlfriends passed -while secretly looking for some Miley Cyrus, followed by Wilco.  So back to the daily routine, in the middle of my walk I had “American Pie” hit my ears.  Crossing streets and avoiding 8 years old’s on the way to work, I got to the lyrics “the day the music died” ..queued up, I started “so bye, bye…Ms American..WHAT!?” My iPod went DEAD.

CREEPY or an OMEN or ???

Gulp

And I feel like I’m spiraling out of control at the moment. Remember when you dream that you’re falling and you wake up with your heart in your throat and you’re breathing in panic mode? That’s me everyday recently. So many back and forth in my mind about what is next. I have an upcoming birthday that is just haunting me, and I’m over the whole “age” thing but I just think it stinks that for the most part that day will be spent alone. I’m too new to the city to really have a “birthday weekend”. I’m considering going on some type of trip but I really can’t afford to spend money on a weekend getaway when I’m in the process of moving out and into a new place.

It’s time like these that I miss my car and Target (bummer)

What’s getting me through these anxiety ridden days? Laughter

The “dream” of living in New York City was fulfilled, but I haven’t really felt good about being on solid footing yet. I was very fortunate to get work within 3 weeks of moving here. I then was able to move into a sublet situation that can be a long term thing if I resign a lease. BUT all of a sudden things have gotten really murky and I can barely think about next weekend, let alone next month.

There have been numerous times in my life where I have had to deal with very difficult people, and I usually found a way into their heart (or good graces). The situation that I’m in right now appears to be the most difficult challenge yet.  So what does one do? I’m too old to be caring about whether someone likes me or not (and I’m pretty sure this person doesn’t). Though I do care about the environment I put myself in (work, life, social) and right now one of those environments is sucking my spirit.

What to do, what to do

I plan to make it a more concerted effort at blogging my life away. But today is Saturday, so I’ll start tomorrow.

No one could ever blame me for lacking social skills, I was socially awkward when I was younger (pre-2o’s), but still made relevant relationships in the ladders of my society (high school, etc). I hit my peak in my mid-20′s and since then I’ve been coasting on irrelevant commentary that makes me seem borderline idiotic at times (IMO).

But I know how to throw a great party and I can make most people smile, even the ex-girlfriends’ I cheated on. Because I feel I have to “maintain” some form of social pulse, I have been overexerting myself recently in NYC. It’s acceptable since I need to make new friends and socialize in hopes of finding a job, right? Yeah, not sure if it is. I’m a little socialized out, and am starting to think that I may be on the brink of a nervous breakdown. For God’s sake, I’m listening to Beth Orton while writing this…

I need a damn job, because then I’d at least be paid to socialize and be witty.

Thunderstorms rock.

I know that my previous post said that I was taking a leave while I move myself to NYC. Unfotunately I’ve encountered some frustrating hurdles and just needed to put things on paper.

I envy anyone who’s ever had to put an ad out seeking a roommate, it must be STRESSFUL. I probably answered more than a dozen of these types of ads on CL last week while in the city. I got 2 replies, and one was from a Nigerian spammer. So either people didn’t really like my email, or they’re just swamped with interest.

Second, NYC is so full of life, I’m hoping it doesn’t consume me. I want to hurry up and get there and start cementing the next part of my life, but need to focus and breathe.

I really wish Big Papi would come out of this slump, it’s a sad thing that is happening to a cheerful and good guy

Cat sh**t smells bad, really bad, really, really bad….

Ok, to be continued….wish me luck on finding a roommate

While sipping my coffee, I remembered that I have a blog! Yes, this little page that houses some of my random deep thoughts. I am allowing to much time to pass between posts. SO I am blaming Twitter. Or perhaps I’ve just become really lazy, or my mind has gone dry and I’m unable to create anything witty. But it’s not me, it’s YOU Twitter, you’ve made my need to broadcast my life into an easy process.

I am not quite sure if anyone reads this anymore, but if you do, guess what? I’m moving. It has come time for me to leave San Francisco, which I will miss DEARLY. But there’s a part of me that’s always wanted to experience the buzz that is…

So yes, I’m moving to ….

I should be there around July (no later)

will you take me out for coffee?

am I losing my mind?

I attended Opening Day at AT&T Park today (Giants won, woot woot). Mother Nature was nice to us, as it rained all morning and up to 29 minutes before the first pitch. That said pitch was thrown by Sully, yes, Sully! So my friend Andrew made an observation about how the recessions wasn’t stopping anyone from consuming $10 beers.

It got me thinking, does drinking $10 beers a by product of us caring about the recession and wanting to “give back” to everyone we can (if we can afford to do so). Now I know what you’re thinking “$10 beers have been here for years”, and yes, I agree. But this recession has only been here since late last year, and now, I feel that rather than curbing the consumption of over priced Budweiser’s, we may actually feel “obligated” to do so. I know, it sounds crazy, but these are the things I think about when I’ve taken 2 Benadryl’s and have gone through my ipod without any luck at finding “meaning”.

I was thinking about putting up an ad on CL for friendship, but someone beat me to it, so I replied.

On a side  note, why do cats sleep so much?