That has just changed…

First off, the disclaimer is the majority of what I will be blogging about today will BE A JOKE. But like a good blogger, I won’t tell you exactly which parts I’m joking about.

So let’s jump into this. I’m extremely proud of my friend Julie, she launched a new website that focuses on the 20 something female, my favorite demographic growing up. Actually, who am I kidding, it’s still my favorite demographic. The majority of the content is obviously written in the female voice and perhaps intentionally, the aspirational tone. This is where my rat ass comes in, I thought it would be funny (until she gets mad) if I gave a proper rebuttal or take-on of one of her posts. Since Julie and I are friends, I only plan to refute her posts rather than her guest contributors. See, I’m not that big of an ass. My intention is to write a refutation masterpiece akin to  Liz Phair‘s take on Exile On Main street, but most likely it will end up in the Vince Neil reacts to Axl Rose category.

So I was browsing the site and came across this post:  “Feel Like a Princess“. Feel free to read it all before proceeding.

I understand that we all (boys & girls and disgruntle hamsters) dream of a better life, and for young girls, the idea of being a princess is probably tops. I don’t necessarily disagree that we should all find time to make ourselves feel better, but you say…

“Splurge”

On a Balenciaga bag? So unless you live with your Parents, or have 12 roommates and are considerably over paid for your position–I don’t know too many 20 year olds who have Balenciaga bags. I also refute the idea that a bag will make you feel special because we know how much “accessorizing” goes on in your world. I have never met an “everyday” luxury handbag, and I should know…I spent a boat load on an LV clutch for my GF and assumed she’d use it everyday. I was wrong.

You’re 20 years old, and I hate to say this…but statistics show that you’ll probably be a 30 something single girl as well, so save your money! Also, don’t buy into the idea that these things will make you feel special, if you do, then you’ll be a sad 30 something single girl.

You say…

“Pamper”

I actually agree with this almost 100%. My only suggestion is DO NOT DO THIS for a nerve-wracking first date.  Don’t ever show all your cards the first date, because guys will expect this EVERY DAY of your relationship. Yes, we love when you go to town on your face and hair with your MAC products, but honestly, if our first impression (date) of you is as close to what we’ll see everyday—then when you do put the make up and blow out your hair, we will think it’s Christmas.

You say…

“Get Help”

You’re a 20 something, not 75–stop being lazy. Carrying your own groceries is not going to kill you and if anything, it’s good exercise (if you buy a lot of canned foods). The more you take out, the more likely you’ll rely on using SeamlessWeb rather than your own skills. Sure, it’ll likely cover not having to “carry your own groceries” but its like a hole in your wallet.  I believe the average apartment in NYC is 400 sq feet, so  unless maid-service is an offer from your mother, save your money…after all, you still need to buy that Balenciaga bag

Go Giants!

I also blame Twitter for my lack of updates, not trying to hate on them but you know–its easier to tweet.

I decided to “opt out” of my consulting gig because I really didn’t believe in the people behind the product. The actual product itself is awesome and I will continue to use it. I won’t say that it was a moral decision (I’m the last person to be giving moral advice), but let’s just say that certain ethics came into play with my decision. I won’t bad mouth (though I just did) the company, and all I hope for is that my former colleagues are treated better than they are now.

I’m back in NYC unemployed, but that’s how it was almost a year ago…so par for the course. More exciting news is that the GF is moving to NYC to live with me. We thought it would be the time to do it, and aside from wanting to date every girl in NYC (I will ask for a free pass once a month)..she’s by far the coolest girl I’ve ever dated.

I’m not going to promise that I will be updating this all the time, that’s what the links to other blogs are for

found this cool pic from my visit to the O2:

I flew to Milan for some scheduled meetings for work, and by Thursday I was ready to leave. Not sure if Milan just wasn’t my thing or I was feeling under the weather, etc. The final conclusion was that Milan was not my type of city, it reminded me of Bakersfield. Yeah, that Bakersfield. The Duomo was beautiful, and the shopping may have been incredible had it not been for me working ’til their closing hours. The trip was summed up into: meetings, walking back to hotel, walking down to bar, walking back to room.

So I woke up to a twitter feed full of discussions about Volcano eruptions that Thursday, and didn’t really put much though into it. By mid-day I realized that my flight might be in jeopardy, when I arrived to the airport I knew I was royally F#@#@! I was then told during check-in that I had 2 options, fly into Paris or Frankfurt. I don’t know French but I definitely don’t know German and I did know that you could get to London by train (yeah, I’m smart I originally thought the airline was doing us a favor by trying to get us closer, and offering to help locate a rail solution when arriving to Paris—that was the thought until I arrived in Paris. There was no one to greet us, no information and no manned desk. WTF!!??

I know what you’re planning to comment up to this point, perhaps “could be worst places to be stuck”, or “lucky you, I’m in Nogales”. That’s not the point, but I agree. So I was temporarily displaced in Paris for a total of 4 days, 3 nights and Paris is expensive. Most hotels (including the one I stayed in) was well over 160 euros a night, calculate that here. I finally found a one way ticket on Eurostar to get me home late at night on Sunday, a ticket that cost 223 euros…., if you want to feel bad for me, go to that link again.

I’m back in London now, and I plan to stop whining as well (for now).

Enjoy Paris:

After the Tate, we headed out to a favorite pub of theirs and on our way went by Buckingham Palace and Parliament and took the mandatory “tourist” pose while looking at Big Ben. The night ended up at a local Wandsworth pub, dinner (fish & chips)…2 more people added to my foursquare friends and a good night sleep. Cheers

Same applies to me and being the superstitious person that I am, I will refrain from forecasting where we will stand 161 games from this day.

funny how much life can fit in these things

I am on the cusp of reaching 9 months of living in New York City. So what am I doing to celebrate? I’m leaving! Without going into long details, in the next 6 weeks + I will be away from my new home and stopping by in Utah, calling London home and visiting Milan for work.

So why all the travel? Let’s just say that I’m seizing an opportunity that I would have never jumped on 5 years ago, let alone last year. Sure, there’s going on vacation for 10 days to another country (I’ve done it in consecutive years)–but to spend almost 2 months outside of my comfort zone–not my style.  And since it’s not my style, I’m taking baby steps with this situation. I’m staying with a dear friend in London, quite possibly one of the few people that I can coexist with for a long time without getting annoyed (we even did a road trip down Highway 1). I also will be working remotely, so there will be daily focus on things to keep me occupied from going stir bat shit crazy.

I also plan to celebrate (and host) a Cinco De Mayo party, and I’m sure that the UK is so culturally diverse, that Cinco de Mayo parties are common—but I know how to throw a party.  Be ready London, oh, and let me know if you want to meet up for coffee, err, I mean tea

And NYC, to quote my friend Tammy, this Summer will be “epic”.